You don’t often remember, or maybe you do. My mom definitely remembers the birth as well as the day of passing of her close family members. Parents, husband and some of her sisters, which when I was younger I thought it quite strange. Yet, the more I lived, the more I also lost friends, and special loved ones, even public persons, and became more like my parent in this way.
It’s not that I am more like the parent; I am more like my culture, my tribe, my community. The elders are there before us, so it appears that we are taking on their traditions. When more likely, the human being marks time and events with age or the passing of time. Like great individual corporations, we each have our milestones to meet and greet annually, whether we like it or not.
In the face of these benchmarks, their appears to be a possible window, with the memory of the passing of a loved one. My mom notices a specific month, when many passed out of her life. The parent often has a connection with the deceased, in dreams, feelings, or the memory of those individuals during the entire month.
I am not sure if she feels the aloneness, the one left behind, with little common ground in the present to express herself. I wonder, yet I also know and work to forget the number of years since my father has passed. Now the benchmark is over thirty years with a single parent. Something to consider a success, sometimes my loss of my own life, while tending to her retirement, relocating, health plans and problems, pensions and all the rest.
Often I wonder what my own life would have been like, if my other – male parent, my father had lived longer into my mother’s retirement years. I wonder what would that freedom may have or not have done for and to my own life. Yet, there is no going back, no changing what the psychic palm reader told me about this time for my life.
So it is written. Nevertheless, can someone tell the persons on the other side of this life, ‘I think you are not forgotten to those who have known you.’
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