Communication - Whipping Boy

Have you noticed, as the house daughter or son, in a care-taking, or a care-giving situation in the family, you notice that you are the object of verbal abuse perpetrated in yelling, screaming, or elder judgmental or rude and divisive comments? This is mental abuse of you and your self-esteem by the elder, the elder’s dear friends who have now adopted you, or sometimes your own siblings.

You become their, “Whipping Boy”.

It’s going to happen. You are the target for their practice that has:

• More time to live than they do – jealousy
• More knowledge about the world – frustration
  
• More economic, or less economic means – worry
• More opportunities than they had

And more… All or anything that can create a tension in conversation suddenly, and unexpected explodes on to you. Who happens to be the closest person who they have some degree of intimacy with, and out of left field, whammo – the comments rip out of the elders mouth.
What’s important here is your reaction. Your own degree of thinking inside THEIR box, and the understanding found there, is what will have effect on the outcome experience for all parties involved.
Your consideration for allowing the venting of old issues to come out and to be resolved or retrenched in old patterns. Even though you are being whipped with words of anger, frustration, worry or jealousy grab hold of yourself and stop to decide what degree do you now need to protect yourself, and just walk away; saying nothing and leave.
We get to decide, to ponder, but initially you will have a reaction that must be controlled to the situation, the person, and the environmental factors of the conditions.
To what degree is the root related to medications, ill-health, lack of stimulation – and more are all up for your consideration when this arises.
The whipping of the house daughter or son caregiver will take you by surprise. It will challenge you in ways unthinkable, and you can’t run away. You must grow up, evolve, and manage with grace, charm, and self-preserving dignity for all parties the relationship. It doesn’t mean you have to accept it, you have to manage yourself and let the parent just spin off, spit it out and you are the target. Like you never took the same hell for money before, well this is where the bank account in heaven starts to fill-up.
How’s that for a job description? "My Last Job: Collecting Brownie Points for Heaven". Try getting a future employer to understand what and how you do what you do or did for House Daughter or Son in the ‘duties’ section of your next job application.